As well as a gym and spa, this luxury hotel boasts Australia's only "water salon" (which we think is just a really big, posh pool) and its own marina – where you can have picnic hampers and champagne delivered to your super yacht, or else simply have it decorated in flowers.
Then there are the rooms. Instead of insects and snoring d-listers, the £1,800-a-night Imperial Suite comes with a walk-in closet, butler service and look-out posts for your bodyguards, while even the bog-standard Superior Room features a couple-sized spa-bath.
Not a bad consolation prize, eh?
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Not a grouchy celebrity in sight; Palazzo Versace's lobby
And when the luckless celebrity finally banishes the memory of those kangaroo testicles and regains their appetite, they can choose between three restaurants serving caviar, lobster, sushi and just about everything you can imagine (yes, including homemade truffled popcorn). The six-course "degustation" menu in the plushest of these, Vanitas, comes in at $135 Australian dollars or £62 per person.
Oh yes, and there's a cocktail bar that serves couture high tea, too. Naturally.
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The Rolling Stones threw a rock 'n' roll party in the Imperial Suite, according to The Mirror. Beyonce and Jay-Z, meanwhile, opted for a modest condo.
Other stars snapped on its sun-loungers include Jeremy Clarkson, Colin Firth, Snoop Dogg, Rod Stewart, Pamela Anderson, 50 Cent, Bono and Sesame Street's Abby and Elmo.
In other words, there's no finer place for a spot of networking if you're a celebrity down on your luck....
It's a hard life; Palazzo Versace's water salon
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Buy-one-get-one-free on cruises! Until 8 December the second person travels free on cruises to Canary Islands and Madeira, Cuba and the Caribbean, Canada, Norway, Scotland and the Faroe Islands, Spain and Portugal.
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